Ready to take my life back

These last 4 + months have been exhausting. I feel like I have had this "out of body" life where I just live life hour by hour...waiting for the next wave of nausea to strike. I am out of sync with normal duties, friendships, decision making and joys of life. In bed by 8:30pm most nights.

Don't know what it is about weekends, but I usually feel great! Is it b/c I am not emotionally invested in my students for 7 hours? Is it b/c I have access to my soft bed to lay down for 10 min if I need to? Is it b/c my toddler keeps me super busy as he chases me around screaming? (Ok, Ok, so the screaming part is not so great...he literally runs the show in his toddler ways).

So, today was no exception. I woke up in a good mood. Isaac calmed down after 2 hours this morning and was able to eat some breakfast. (I am not sure why he always cries in the morning, moans, whines and begs to be held. I give him lots of loves and attention for a good hour, but then mama has to get things done! That is when WWI breaks out on the home front).

Today I had my life back! I got several things accomplished with ZERO NAUSEA. I wiped down the microwave (where earlier I could see some small splatters but didn't have the stomach to wipe them off), I tossed out old food from the pantry (it's been hard to even open the door and see the canned food or crackers, just making my stomach turn over), and re-organized my fridge (although it has yet to be wiped down well).

I mopped and vacuumed the wood floors, emptied garbages and even filled up my fruit basket with fresh and colorful fruit!

With my motherly duties being on the back burner, I have ditched all efforts of cooking/grocery shopping/ organzing/ menu planning, etc. So...you can imagine the state of my kitchen with others roaming around and NOT keeping it up to my "standard of excellence" (as Gpa Lowe says).

I even made it Wal Mart today without dry heaving! I zoomed past the raw meats, smelly produce and filled my cart up with necessities. Since when have grocery prices spiked? Is it our economy? Have I been that much out of the loop of purchases to be so shocked?

Cream of chicken soup: 1.12 (wasn't it .80?)
Cheerios: $3-4
Fruit snacks: $4.00 (for the Welch's brand...my favorite)

Another interesting thing I have discovered about myself, is that I no longer am conscientious of my calorie counting. Just 5 months ago I was doing fruit flushes, logging onto livestrong.com to enter in my calories for the day, and doing all I could to maintain an "under 1700" calorie intake. I wouldn't eat a box of raisins for the 12 g of sugar, or the 1/2 C of milk with the 17 g of sugar... and heaven forbid if I indulge in a pretzel from the mall with all those carbs!

Now? Forget it! I am not overeating, but I am not holding back. Prior to being prego, I told myself I would only eat when hungry, and I would eat modest portions. That was very naive of me. Every pregnancy, I am STARVING. Stomach growling every 2 hours. With food being my enemy for the last 4 months, it's amazing that I have already gained 15 lbs (embarrassing I know). If I am not eating, I am dry heaving. Then when I eat, I sometime throw up. My body is NOT on board with this idea of growing a baby inside.

So....off I go into the world of weight gain. I have accepted the idea and look forward to getting a serious "burn" at the gym in 6 months. It's frustrating to know how much weight I have gained despite my efforts of hitting the gym! You'd think it'd slow down a little bit !I am still working out 3-4 x's a week, but the intensity of it all is very limited...again, b/c I get too nauseous if I push myself too hard. My workouts consist of light weights, 25 min. of light cardio and stretching. Anything is better than nothing, right?

My bump is happily showing, my butt is widening, my arms are fattening. Just don't tell me when I start to grow a second chin.

Welcome to pregnancy...and I haven' t even hit the heartburn, swollen or HUGE stages yet!