I have been staying out here with Jared for two weeks now on "vacation" in Burbank, CA. I will recap it when I get back home with pics. The week is coming to an end and my reality of life is hitting. I am ready to be back in my own bed, to have toys for my boys to play with, to have plastic cups and plates that won't break when they put them in the sink, to NOT share a room with Isaac, and to have some friends around! I have hit a few parks with the boys while Jared is away at work, and boy do I feel lonely. I am ready to get back to working out at the gym and not eating Krispy Kremes. I have loved seeing him daily and having him play with our boys, but he still is working his 12 hour shifts...which leaves little time to visit.
He is still working right now, it is 5pm. I am here waiting for him. Today was our "beach day." I guess we may make it for the sunset. It's hard entertaining my three year old when there is not much for him to do except watch tv. It's hard for ME to not feel dissapointed as our day melts away with no beach fun.
Reality: his job requires LONG hours...something I am sick of him doing! Reality: need to be grateful that he has a job. Reality: wish that we could at least live in the same house together.
The biggest thing on my mind is WESLEY STARTS KINDERGARTEN ON MONDAY. How does any mom go through with this? What is she supposed to feel as she sends him off? He keeps telling everyone, " I am not ready for school. I can't tie my shoes and I don't know how to read yet!" We have done our best with letters and numbers, but reading just didn't happen this summer like I wanted. Those Bob Books didn't get packed up on our little adventures.
And what about his English/Spanish? Will he come back only speaking English to me? It is a challenge already trying to remind him to speak while he is playing with toys or talking with Austin. What about his social skills and manners? Will he do as the teacher asks? Will he pick up bad words and habits? Will he make friends and be picked to play on teams?Will he be motivated to do his homework? Have I prepared him for what lays ahead?
This is yet another chapter in what I call my life.
2 comments:
I'm excited for him. The first day of school is such a bittersweet moment. I think the parents are more saddened by the day then the children because we recognize this as the beginning of the separation. Your child will never belong just to you again. I hope he loves school and adjusts well. I do want to see you now that you're back. Call me!
Oh I felt the SAME WAY last year- after so long of us being the biggest factor in their lives they suddenly have teachers and friends etc- I was a nervous wreck, but Ethan loved EVERY DAY OF IT! And after a year of school under "our" belts, I feel prepared to say...I worry just as much this year with 1st grade,
So...do I have any great advice? Nope- just know you are not alone in your anxiety!
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