frazzled day

Been a rough day. When will Jared come home? Oh yeah, 3 more days...

Trying to keep my patience with my toddler and preschooler. I am finding relief in my yummy mini-cadbury eggs...the entire bag to be exact.

Somehow I made it the entire day without letting my boys give into a movie (seriously, is it worth the "my kids are not being creative" guilt that you feel when you let them watch a movie vs. just letting my conscience go and have a few stress-free hours to myself). So, they are now watching a 30 min. flick before the dreaded bedtime routine starts.

It would be so nice to have papa home right now to give them some entertainment, especially some wrestling time. They both have too much energy and mama has no more! (They look so skinny here! I promise that I do feed them...recently they have been more into "ejercicios" and flexing their "musculos.")

Maybe it was the fight over who could wear the Spiderman costume, maybe my limits are still being stretched by last nights events of more cold baths, not obeying my requests to stop talking and go to bed,etc. Maybe it was Wesley taking out all of my living room toss pillows out of their cases and throwing them around.

Maybe I am stressed out from the non stop whining that Austin does over anything Wesley will or will not do. Is it worth it Austin to cry over not being able to have a blue cup? It is worth it Wesley to get your mom frustrated when you throw Austin's shirt up into the ceiling fan? It is worth it Austin to push your mama's buttons when you refuse to eat your dinner...and an hour later I end up spoon feeding you anyway?

I do find relief in the fact that I did get my tile scrubbed clean today. Gotta get some of this built up tension out! And poor Isaac doesn't know what is coming tonight...no more feedings or binkie trips for me. I am too pooped to continue this madness. He is going to have to cry it out. I will be in the far end of the home, with earplugs and a prayer in my heart as my sweet tank cries his little heart out. Makes me sad just to think about it.

The best part of the day was when Wesley did come over and give me a hug and kiss. That made me just stop, count my blessings that I do get to raise these little monkeys and that these hugs and kisses won't last forever (nor will the spit wads that they threw into each other's hair today).

I feel so frazzled so often. I need to continue to take things day by day and not feel too overwhelmed by this large undertaking that I am doing. My heart goes out to single parents everywhere.

Let the madness continue...or at least until 7pm when it's "bedtime." (Although that schedule keeps sliding back to 8pm by the time my boys finally do fall asleep. What will it take for them to someday enjoy sleeping? Not getting up at 6am everyday???).

My tummy now hurts from all those cadbury eggs...darn it!

ps...we sold our car on Craigslist. We posted it on Saturday, had it sold by Monday. We are now buying another SUV on Ebay. Never even driven it, but it's red! Should arrive this next week. Until then, the boys and I are scrunched into a rental; a tiny mini silver bullet, as I call it. Let the fun times begin as we squeeze all into it!

My favorite part was picking it up at the rental place, nursing in the bright AZ sun (without tinted windows) in the car as people looked inside at us (since we are so far down to the ground). My boys are so close together that Wes and Austin are practically sitting on top of Isaac...which leads to more fighting and crying as Isaac gets the brunt of their "playing around" (sticking their fingers in his mouth, patting his head, poking ears, etc). I can't tell you how often I tell them to cross their arms and don't touch the baby!

Baby is crying....off I go to the rescue!