November 28th

Pregnancy test is finally positive. Took 4 tests with faint lines. But, this one looks much more promising.

I forgot about the dark pee, which is another positive sign of pregnancy.

I am such a worry wart. Every time I go to the bathroom, I am worried that I will discover another miscarriage/period. How to do I relax, now that I am finally prego...when I get the first ultrasound? When I know which sex it is? When I have a final due date? When the baby comes?

I have waited 17 + months to be prego, and now that it is finally here...I am still worrying! I was worrying about WHY we weren't prego, WHAT medicine I could take to help it along, WHEN would we have another addition, HOW could we make this work, and WHERE would I be working next year if a baby was not in the future?

So many questions.

I put Isaac in a shirt that says, "I'm the Big Brother." I woke up Isaac and put it on him immediately. Jared said, "Why are you putting that on him? He already has a long sleeved shirt." I said, "well, this one finally fits him." Jared just looked at me. I then said, "And it makes sense." That is when Jared gave me a huge grin and said, "Are you pregnant?"

I am 5 weeks along. Still waiting for the nausea to hit (which would be okay b/c it means I am for sure prego??? and not going to miscarry at 7 weeks like I did last time). When will I get more tired, from my already 4:15am wake up call? Will the cravings come? When will I start showing? When to tell the kids? When to tell my students? After the holidays when I am showing more?

It's such a private and sensitive subject for me. I am keeping it a huge secret...for now. I am too nervous to spread the good news, and then to have it backfire. Is that a lack of faith?

I hope Jared can give me a blessing of comfort.

I would love to have twins!
I can't wait to set up Isaac's room with Austin and make a nursery!
I am excited to have another addition!
Will she be a girl b/c she is close to my birthday in August?
Will I still be able to work out in the mornings, even if I am too tired and fat and worn out from working all day long at school?

I know pregnancy is so demanding, exhausting and laborious. But, for right now, I am thrilled! All I can think about is that I am finally finally finally prego.

I hope this one sticks.