I need some advice...It was another day for our storytime at the local library. I was just getting the boys out so we could run in and make it on time. I put Austin down and was letting him go pee on the pavement (thus the potty training continues, and that was something I vowed I would never let my children do, pee on the street...but, that was way before I had kids and know about the emergency peeing!). As he was finishing, I was very surprised to see this blue eyed husky dog sniffing at our feet...he came out of nowhere. Even more surprising was his owner, right behind me, who was coming to retrieve his pet. I didn't hear them at all!
I quickly turned around to see this nice, dirty and polite young man with not one, but two beautiful husky dogs staring at us. I tried not to look too shocked by this surprise, but said hello to them and let my boys be licked by their warm tongues. The boys loved the "puppieees!" and were very excited to say hello.
We trotted off to storytime, but even the books and craft on Curious George couldn't take my mind away from this homeless man I had just met. Afterwards, we went back over to where we had first met. He now was under a mesquite tree, with a cardboard box and his two dogs tied up by a tattered rope. If it hadn't been for my boys' screaming to see the puppies, I might have just driven off. Instead, we headed over and made some small talk while I evaluated the situation a little bit better.
I wanted to use caution with this man, there was no one else around and I felt a little vulnerable with my two small children and all alone. His name is Ryan, he is originally from Ohio and likes El Paso. That is about the only info I could get from him b/c I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't say, "are you homeless? Do you want a shower? Do you need food? Are you sad and lonely?"
We talked mostly about the dogs and about my boys, but my heart was just full off sadness for this young man and where his life has thus turned out...he had a beautiful smile, bright blue eyes and was younger than 30. His clothing was so dirty and black, he wore a white cowboy hat and I could see his ratted hair in a small ponytail behind his ears.
I couldn't get him off of my mind, and my heart was so sad for him when I went back home. I loaded up some random food items from our boxes (of course our pantry items are still boxed up and in different closets throughout the apartment), and some juices that wouldn't spoil. I didn't know if he'd feel comfortable by my small offering, but I wanted to do something!
The next day, Friday, we drove by several times where Ryan had been before and he was still there, parked underneath the Mesquite tree and all alone with his dogs. We went by in the afternoon and I was a little unsure of how I would approach it all. I took the opportunity to share with Wesley what we were doing and why it is so good to share with those who don't have anything.
We got out of the car, and before I could tactfully tell Ryan what we were doing, Wesley blurted out, "We got food for you!" That'll about do it! I tried not to blush as I approached him and told him that we thought he could use some food, and of course it was followed by a very polite, "Thanks ma'am." I once again tried to make small talk, but found nothing to say! He was very nice, once again asking our names and associating them with different things so he could remember us. I could tell that he was just absorbing the adult conversation, of which he obviously doesn't receive very often. I told him we'd like to help out in anyway possible, and that we would look forward to seeing him again. That was about it.
I have not been able to get Ryan out of my head. Poor guy is there day and night and probably feels so lonely, sad and scared with life. My question to all of you, is what can I do or what should I do to help him out? Jared thinks that if he wanted to, he could easily stay in a halfway house, or make a change. But, my thinking is that maybe he doesn't know what to do? I want to offer him a ride somewhere, my own personal shower, a chance to go and eat some food or even a job! But, I definitely don't know how to approach it, or if any of this is out of my league.
What would you do???
6 comments:
OH Adi, I would be careful. Keep your eye on him, keep talking to him if you see him, but I would be cautious. I agree with J that decisions he has made put him where he is... Work with him, just be careful. And as for the headboard, in the absurdley long post below that one, I explain that we made it from scratch. :)
This is a tough situation. I'm like you, my heart just aches for people in this situation. I have heard that a large majority of homeless people have mental illness of some sort. Maybe instead of approaching him you could go a different direction and contact a shelter and ask them if they are aware of this man and if they could help in any way? I'm sure your friendship means a lot to him. It's good that you're in a public place. I don't think taking him into your home is a good idea because you don't know him and Jared isn't there. Your heart is in the right spot, just be careful what you do. AND, tag, you're it!!! I want to see your answers!
Maybe do some research of your own of exactly where he could go. Write down addresses, phone numbers, etc. That way you can give him all the info and he can make the choice form there of what HE wants to do! And as always, just pray that you'll be guided in the way you should go.
Hey lady! You have such a sweet heart! I would do what Audrey suggested and call around for any local shelter's to see what they would suggest. Even though he seems to be a very kind young man, I wouldn't give him a ride anywhere in your car unless Jared is with you. You can offer to pay for a Taxi or something if he needs to get a ride to a Shelter.
I know you'll do the right thing though! Good luck!
I agree with Maria- get some info, (shelters, food, job info) and pass it along to him. Allow him to make the decision of what to do with that info. Be friendly, but protect yourself- don't let him know where you live, or even your last name- it's so sad that wickedness forces us to be so careful- Some people enjoy the freedom of living like that- seriously. I don't know what his personal situation is, but the best thing you can do is get him the info, and let him take it from there. Good luck!
Hey girl...what great comments from your other friends. I totally agree, they said exactly what I was going to say. Living right in the city like we do, there are sooo many homeless people around...It is so hard not to judge sometimes when I see people giving them money, and then later in the day I see them smoking behind a building. I think you can only do so much. I think what you did by giving him food is so wonderful. It might have been just what he needed to get his mind where it needs to be. Just to know that someone actually cared about him and went out of their way for him. I think that if you get him info. about shelters, etc, then you will know that you gave him the opportunity, and he needs to take it from there. If he doesn't, then you shouldn't feel bad because you really did do all that you could, at the same time keeping you and your kids safe.
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