I feel like I really do give 110% to my boys, but there is only so much I can do until I am burned out as well. I need some more interaction for my children! I just keep telling myself, “take it day by day. Hour by hour.” I hate not having plans for my days…when I look at my calendar and see NOTHING, it makes me feel like a loser. Like I don’t have a lot of purpose besides staying at home, feeding my boys, cleaning and entertaining them.
I really do feel blessed with my life; I have a great husband, two healthy children, a wonderful home, excellent health, a running car, food in my fridge and the internet…so, why do I feel so down sometimes? Why do I feel like my life is the same everyday? This time in my life will “pass by,” and before I know it, I will be missing those toddlers tugging at my feet…but, until then…how do I find that inner peace and the happiness that I crave?
13 comments:
hi - friend of kaylynn's and shameful blog spy because i'm fascinated with how other people live their lives. not that i've been a stay at home mom, or a mom for that matter, i completely understand you. i think it's the curse of the modern world - we have the privilege of being existential. wouldn't it be cool to trade lives with others to see get a taste of something new? what works for me is creative outlets, leaving the house everyday no matter what and signing up for new activities. i think the key for stay at home moms is doing stuff just for yourself. good luck!
I can understand you completely. Being a mom is hard work, but you are doing such a great job. And give yourself some time to make those good friends. You are still fairly new to El Paso so it will come. I wish I loved closer so your boys could play every day together. BUT. . .you could come and visit us here. That would be fabulous. Let's plan it. :)And I fill by days with trips to Costco and Target. Try that. :) Then you can add being poor to your list. :)
I think you're asking the deepest question out there--what's the meaning of life...to be happy right? I think you need to decide a course of action. You want playdates. Who do you know with kids your kids' ages? Do you like their mom? If you don't know her, invite her over to play with all of you. If you don't feel the need to entertain her also, you could ask her if her boys could come and play at your house. Does your ward have a regularly scheduled play group? If not, ask the RS president if she knows of other moms who would be interested and you would be willing to organize it. I take my kids to McDonald's sometimes and let them play on the slides even though we never buy anything. The employees certainly don't care. While the weather is still so wonderful here, we're trying to go outside as much as possible.
You're very bright and ambitious. I know you're not shy either. You can accomplish whatever you put your mind to.
You're amazing, I just have to say! I'm always blown away by how much you do with your kids, how active you are, and how friendly and outgoing. It is validating to hear that even someone with so much can have down periods too. I think it's especially hard when you don't get to be with your hubby as much. I don't know how much advice I can give, but getting out even when it's cold just to go for a walk is very wonderful and helps the kids too. Go to the park and let them play while you read a book or enjoy being outside--that also gives opportunity to meet other people and have "psudo-friends" even if you won't see them again (talking to an adult is soo wonderful sometimes). Sometimes you've just got to hang in there. I've certainly felt that, but it always helps if I can make myself get out, have a project, etc. You're so ingenious in that area I'm sure you won't have a problem, especially beneficial if your project is finding a friend for yourself and kids. I don't know a mom who wouldn't love to have her kids taken off her hands for a few hours and Adam and I live for ward playgroup.
Hi Adrienne! I just got caught up on your blog and sounds like your lives have been busy! I'm sorry there aren't too many more kids around there for the boys... Maybe a new family will move there soon and then...
I keep trying to talk Dirk into moving to Texas (probably not El Paso), but I don't know if we'll ever make it. My whole family wants to move down there and I'm all on board with it!! We'll see.
Take care and just keep being an awesome mom to your boys! You're the best friend they could ever have anyway!
I totally understand!
I've been working on that, too.
What has helped is having a daily schedule, and changing my kids' nap routines. We have short chores most everyday, (gathering garbage, I'll hand them a damp rag while I'm wiping the table or cleaning the bathroom, they move things while I vacuum, etc) I have them take one long nap in the late morning to early afternoon, and then I only have to plan ONE big activity! lately it has been nature walks around the 4 cleared acres around our house. We will look for, find, and talk about, crickets, birds, ice, different plants, trees, or play pretend (Livia had us hiding under a low pine from monsters yesterday!) or just running around and laughing. After naps, we have snack, pick up Daddy from work, and they help me start dinner, or they play with Daddy, or thier own toys.
Not all our days go well, however. Everyone had good days and bad days! Try trips to the park in the cooler morning hours- you may meet other moms who also like to take thier kids to the park! Check out story hour at your local library- my kids love it! Or start one yourself!
Don't push yourself too hard- you can't force friendships! But keep looking- you'll find some great friends! You always do! :)
Adrienne,check out the malls - they always have toddler time once a month or so. libraries also. MOPS (moms of preschoolers) is also a national program that is probably in El Paso. When we moved to Flagstaff I went online and found music classes, gymnastic classes, etc. El Paso is much bigger than Flagstaff so I am sure it is available. Usually there is a monthly or quarterly magazine that comes out in the newspaper or you can find it on the city's recreation website. Good luck :)
http://cielovista.org/MOPS.asp
http://www.epparent.com/
Here are two websites that may give you some ideas.
Hi!! What?? My kid needs friends and playdates??? :) Like all your commenters, I totally hear you. My only helps have been the fact that my husband is around breakfast, lunch and dinner (which actually really hinders the play date thing) and I made a list of projects I wanted to do this year, so when I have down time I work on one of those.
Hey girly...we all have these days! Even though I didn't move far I feel that it was a hard move! Still i stuggle w/ friends and play groups, stay at home moms and finding time for myself! It's hard to go back to the old ward for me becaue everyone seem a little different. Hang in there it sounds like you are going to have a gerat girls weekend in a few weeks with arianne and abby and kids. I hope that you get a little time off and can play hard! I love ya and hope to see ya soon! Just make a week trip up here! you are more then welcome anytime!
It seems everyone has already given you great ideas, but here's my two cents, for what it's worth. First, it's true that it will take time, but it will also take effort. I don't especially love going to the library for story time, but there are always other kids and moms there and if you're willing to put yourself out there, you'll make a connection somewhere... at the park, at church... I also think that if you will be very specific in your prayers and tell Heavenly Father exactly what you're looking for, he'll provide opportunities for you. Good luck chica, the fact that you are already giving 110% will bring blessings in itself!
This might not mean much...but I was reading through your blog thinking how motivated you are, and how you seem to have everything "together". Sounds like a fun and exciting life. I bet you are a fantastic mom, wife, and friend!
sounds like you need to stop and smell the roses. You have most things many people would only dream of and you're whining about not having anything to do. Try working 12 hour days and then going home to take care of 3 needy kids like i do everyday!!! A little spoiled and ungrateful comes to mind?
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