Frazzled Fried Egg

Tonight I am feeling overwhelmed, the kind where you feel like you are drowning.

As a homemaker, you battle the challenges of feeling stimulated, motivated, balanced and involved. (Or, at least that was me).

As a career mother, I battle challenges of getting my housework done weekly, finishing up homework when I feel like taking a load off of my feet, figuring out dinner on the way home from school, not losing all my patience with my boys in the 3 hours we have together after school, and finding the motivation to pack up snacks and treats and food when I just want to go to bed.

That's just from 3-7pm. It doesn't include the re-teach, reminding, disciplining, learning, planning and brainstorming that goes on with being a teacher. My students are amazing kids, but they are demanding! It's hard to maintain a "loud teacher voice" all day long and to constantly be engaging them in activities to make sure that they stay on task. Makes my head hurt just thinking about tomorrow's plans.

Can I really keep this up for an entire year? What if I have to work again next year?

Off I go to go pack lunches, snacks, water bottles, check homework, fold 3 loads of laundry, squeeze in a bit of the good 'ol Book of Mormon, and do it all before my 9:30pm bedtime.

UGH.

Fruit flush

Have you ever been addicted to something?

I must confess. I am addicted to sugar. The typical female loves her chocolate, ice cream, and candy. But, I am in a totally different category. I need my sugar fix everyday! I had 1/2 pan of rice crispy treats all by myself on Monday. I then had 1/2 pan of Peanut Butter brownies on Tuesday, not to mention whipped cream too.

I feed my addiction every night, and often out of shame eat my sugar alone and standing. I needed to find something to help me control myself. When I stepped on my scale this morning at 2 lbs extra, I knew I had to do something. I have done a calorie counting diet before, which lasted a month. But, with this last go-round of sugar cravings, I knew I was in for a doozie.

I have turned into a fruit fly.

The Fruit Flush is just what it sounds like. Fruits for two days straight....nothing else! The tropical fruits are not an option (banana, pineapple, mango, etc).

What was my diet today? 2 apples, 2 white peaches, 3 plums and an ENTIRE bag of green grapes. My stomach is so sour. My teeth feel rotten. I feel bloated and sick. Nothing is being "flushed" out at this point.

Tomorrow should be better. I hope to "flush" out a few lbs! Gotta be consistent and firm. After this flush, hopefully I can then have more control on my diet and start fresh in moderation.

As I made a delicious strogonaff tonight, I was very sad to not partake. But, now it is 8:30pm and I will go to bed in an hour to get up by 4:15am for my workout. If I don't do it then, I won't do it at all. I am a fried egg when I get out of school, and the last thing I want to do is go workout! Whether it's hitting the grocery store, returning something, or talking with my principal, the time flies and I don't get home 'til after 4pm. Then it's dinner, homework, and catch up time with Isaac.

There are things I miss about being at home full time, like my leisure activities; going to classes at the gym (teaching them), taking a random nap, lunch with friends, playdates, watching Oprah, going to a park, reading a book, etc. It's hard to let things slide when I am at work all day long. It's hard to not mop or clean bathrooms on a certain day of the week, or make homemade cookies as an afterschool snack, or go get my haircut during school hours, or catching up on my blog during the afternoon "lull." Somethings just have to be put on the back burner.

But, I am really happy teaching again. I think a part time set up would be perfect, but until then.... I am embracing my opportunity to teach kids. How satisfying it is to stimulate my brain and try to think of 15 different ways on how I can teach place values on a chart.

One more day Mrs. Fruitfly. One more day.

Update: never did "flush" out! I am concerned that maybe I have a crooked intestine? Not sure, but it was frustrating to sacrifice and not see or feel any results!

Posh

We celebrated Jennie Souder's 30th birthday at a very non-traditional restaurant, "Posh." Improvisational Cuisine: A manner of dining in which the guest provides just enough information about preferences and dietary restrictions for Chef Joshua T Hebert and his culinary staff to provide a modern and seasonal menu with a touch of innovation. Improvisational cuisine is available only at “POSH Restaurant” in Scottsdale AZ.

It was a night filled with odd body parts, small portions and mixed flavors.

The company was fun, taste tests were shared and the food was unique.

I am glad we went....it was a perfect place for my chef Jennie and her pallet.

We started her birthday celebration with a surprise breakfast in bed (or, get out of bed!) with multi grain pancakes and caramel syrup at 5am. She was a good sport to follow along, although I am sure having Isaac sit on her stomach to wake her up was quite a shock!

Happy Birthday my dear friend!

birthday in the mountains

Spent my 31st b-day in two scenarios this year:

1st: Up in the mountains of Eagar, AZ (Jared's hometown). Spent the weekend with our good friends, the Bake's. Fresh garden veggies, local Mexican food, a rodeo and of course TX sheet cake made it great. Sleeping arrangements were fun; a motorhome and camping! The boys loved it, and I loved seeing them have fun in the outdoors.





2nd: Jared planned a fun group date with the Throwers, Ashton's, and Boley's. We went to a favorite Mongolian BBQ for fresh veggies and meats. (A repeat of Valentine's day). We then hit the dance floor at Graham Central Station! Lots of weirdos, karaoke ("Girls just wanna have fun!"), line dancing and strobe lights. I love to dance and I love being with friends.



Happy birthday old woman.

First day of school for all of us

I put in my two staff pictures; a 2010-2011 and then the original 2006-2007 when I first started at ACA. Check out that cute haircut!

First day of school. Started out rough at the gym (what do you expect at 4:30am?) I missed my box jump step and sliced up my shin really good. Ouch. Then came the diarrhea from my nervousness. Seriously?

No tears were shed by my big boys Wesley (1st grade) and Austin (Kindergarten). Thanks to a great summer school intro over the summer, they had confidence in the campus and staff members. The tears had already been shed month prior. I walked them to their classrooms, and hurried off to meet my new students! I love peeking in on them during class time and seeing their eyes smile at me when they see I am in there. I am grateful b/c we can have breakfast together and they have lunch together. They are once again best friends b/c they have no other friends! I feel kinda bad for them. It's hard being the new kids. That is what brothers are for. I think they looked so cute in their uniforms, combed hair, and new shoes.

I had an "aha moment:" my chidren have lots of attention and feel secure with themselves, that is why they are well behaved at church and at school. They don't need the extra attention from other adults. It is very evident when I am teaching other children that DO require that love from adults and teachers.

Not only was it the first day for my boys, but it was the first day for me! I ran out of things to teach 1/2 way through, so I had to fudge it with a book reading to all the students. (other teachers think I wear spanx when I am showing my knees in a skirt LOL).

It's weird having such freedom to choose what I do and dont' want to do. For example; hands washing before lunch is my choice, heads up 7 up, or letting them do any type of meditation after a long day. I also feel such a responsibility and a weight to do such a good job with these kids. I need to constantly be on my toes with them and set up the discipline early on. We have SSR/reading corner with pillows...I need to not take advantage of that situation. I also need to figure out dividing up the math groups and cursive handwriters from the rest. Lots to think about already!

All the teachers were very fresh with make up, new suits, high heels, smiles, etc. I am excited to see how they do come november! My class is very quiet, only 15 kids. Other class is more energetic....and we will have opportunities for behavior management! Already you can spot those kids that need the xtra attention, thus the acting out (like doing the worm on the floor?) The boys this year will be a challenge with their energy, talking, and rowdy laughter.

It's day #2...only 178 to go. Can I really do this? Take it one day at a time. Don't get overwhelmed, or discouraged. Do my best every day and try to make a difference with the ones that DO care about education. I do love teaching!

blessings

Every new school year growing up, I had our wonderful home teacher come over to the house to give me a blessing to start out the year.

Luckily for our little Wilson boys, Jared can now do that for them. I am so grateful to have his good heart in our home. Even Isaac got one!


Jared: the boys put their hands on his head and kept saying, "Lowell Wilson." Soon the Pledge of Allegiance was being recited...hopefully Heavenly Father smiled down on them. I know I did.

My boys have been quite the little missionaries in heart too. Just this last week they were in a jacuzzi hot tub baptizing each other! My non member friend was a bit confused, but I thought it was cute.

They also went up and bore their "testimonies" at church. They both were nervous, so I went up with them. Wesley went first, and I knew he'd do okay b/c we had practiced it during FHE. "I want to bear my testimony. I know this church is true. I know the prophets live. I love my family. Jesus name, Amen. " Then Austin took his little 4 year old self up to that big pulpit, reached way up to lower the microphone and in a strong voice said, "I want to bear my testimony. I know this church is true. I know my Savior loves me. I love my family. Jesus name, Amen." I was such a proud mama! I wasn't even sure Austin would do it correctly b/c we hadn't practiced. But, that sweet angel did a great job. Lots of confidence and heart.

Wesley also invited a co-worker, Ms. Hall to church with him. Here is how it went down:

Wesley: Do you go to church?
Ms. Hall: No
Wesley: Why not?
Ms. Hall: I am not sure.
Wesley: You could come to our church. We don't have tattoos, smoke, wear earrings, drink. We have a clean mind and a clean body (moving his hands up and down his body).

I thought that was so sweet and considerate of him! I love that he wanted her to learn about our church too and felt like it was important.

beginning of school

School starts in just 4 days. The nerves are kicking in. The stress is in the air. Butterflies are in my tummy. We have been in "inservice" trainings now for a week 1/2. I am exhausted from all the conversations about insurance, dress code, fire drills, "bad touch/good touch" policies, and lesson plan formats. My head hurts. Fried egg. Brain freeze. Good thing they have given us Krispy Kremes, Mexican food, chocolates and lots of water to keep us going. I do love being in a room full of people with purpose, passion and drive about kids + education.

I have this inner battle going on. I am so excited to teach. I envision myself as an educator, influencing all of these great children and really creating a learning and nurturing environment. We have such diversity and cultural differences in my school, that I really am looking forward to the challenges. I think about how I could stay at this school for years to come and raise my boys in this small school environment. I love feeling stimulated in my vocabulary, my new creativity as I think of my classes and I thrive off of the social friendships I am making with other teachers. I feel accepted, respected, educated, and cared about. It's a great feeling.

On the other hand, I feel guilty already that I am no longer tucking in Isaac for naps or feeding him his breakfast/lunch. I have really missed my boys all week long (I am exhausted from the trainings), but being gone from 8am-5pm is hard on me. I miss them! I come home and immediately (well, that is if they are not watching tv), they want to have hugs and be with me. It warms my heart...but, the guilt comes back!

Do I continue teaching as my boys are in school, or do I focus in on my sweet Isaac and go back home? Right now I HAVE to work to provide financially. But, I really enjoy the outside stimulation and opportunity for growth as a person that teaching provides. I can easily be home by 3pm everyday. Great schedule. Could I juggle it beyond this year?

For now, I am motivated and looking forward to this school year. Ask me again in November how I am doing. I may be ready to be back home...back to my play dates, trips to Costco, parent volunteering, an occasional nap, Oprah and a little boredom. It would be nice to hit the gym at 8:30am vs. 4:30am (like I did this morning) to fit in a little sweat and cardio.

I am getting my last finishing touches on my simple classroom done:

Bulletin board "What the Wilson's know:" for my objectives completed
Cheesy signs posted around the room
Desk organized
Bookshelf set up (but not organized yet. Will have a T.A. do that!)
Filing cabinet filled
Desks arranged
Decided on my first "center" for the month: Nutrition. I will have my students work on some hands on activities based on different themes every month. This month they will learn about the Basic 5 Pyramid, cutting out healthy snacks out of newspapers, looking at labels, etc. They do this in their extra time, and will get extra credit for the things turned in.
Organized all of the old 5th grade teachers JUNK and stored it into a filing cabinet
Stocked up on teaching supplies at Wal Mart and Office Max. I have yet to buy my own kids' supplies b/c I could barely get my own!

I really need to know focus in on the curriculum, lesson planning and behavior systems before my kiddos walk in through that door!