new house

Thoughts about my new house...been here for 4 days now.

Packing and cleaning 'til 11:3opm on Friday night. Slept on a couch without linens. Boys were at a sleepover (why have I not pawned my kids off before with other moves! What a relief it was to not worry about food or bedding for them!) Up by 6am, worked and labored in new house until 10:30pm. Jared was a working horse as he sweated away his body weight 3 x's over. Woke up the next morning feeling like we had been hit by a freight train.

I was frustrated by all of the HAIR in the fridge/microwave, soap scum in the shower and splattered ovens. That took me so long to get cleaned out, that the rest of the unpacking/shuffling/ organizing really had to be put on hold.

So grateful for good friends who came through once again! Thank you so much for watching my kids (including sleepover, food, love, entertainment and soccer games), helping organize my entire kitchen, cleaning my high-maintenance hardwood floor, bringing over lunch and dinner, etc.

Jared and my heart was full.

Appreciation. Exhaustion. Sacrifice. Commitment. Generosity. Sweat. Rubber Gloves. Ross decor.

Still trying to get my house to where I can "maintain" it. I really have to work extra hard to get projects done, while still preparing meals and enjoying my kids! Our routine is totally thrown off b/c
#1 We are not used to being at home during the school days
#2 New house/rhythm/rumbo
#3 I am stressed out!

Overall, very happy with the home. Lots of potential for fun dinner parties and play dates (need to get our backyard fixed up) and excited about the new space.

The hard workers: Jared, Marc Taylor and Alex Molina. Sweaty sweethearts.

Isaac "helped" in many ways. Especially moving boxes and tearing the edges.


A last look as things got packed up from the Sierra Montana house.

Leslie Boley, my loyal friend. Been with me now for...oh...6 moves or so. She is such a hard worker, scrubber, cleaner, excellent organizer and has an eye for details. That woman will do anything for me; including scrub out a baggie of rotten ground beef that got left behind in our freezer outside...the smell alone would kill a person. That took some serious love.


Tim, "Boom Baby" painted up the house in about two weeks time. No easy task, but we enjoyed his company all along the way. This is the third house he has painted for us, and hopefully the last.

Baki, the German contractor oversaw the hardwood floors and other fixtures. What a work ethic that man has.
Loading up!
Laying down the carpet and hardwood floor.

Just watching these men haul up the front loader made me nervous and I had to leave the room. It took some monster strength to lift it up the stairs. So glad that was NOT my job.


First night: The boys LOVE our shower. It has 5 shower heads and they love to get soaped up!


Isaac reminds me of one of those 4D ultrasound pictures. What a sweet baby.
Isaac is still trying to figure out where he is...

Oh...the unpacking begins...what a MESS.


Here to save the day with lunch is my dear friend April. Even though she is prego, she is still here to help out!

Even though we were working, we loved all of our chit chatting amidst the tupperware, forks, boxes and dishes. Leslie even found my lost dishes...of course they were the last box in the garage.

Did you know you can buy Subway bread and make your own sandwich? April is so smart.
Trisha Mariner and I scrubbed out most of the nastiness from the previous owners. I was on my knees with a toothbrush in many areas. Disgusting.
Leslie and I started to organize the garage. Jared and I finished it...12 HOURS later. Exhausting. At least we got to de-junk most of the "stuff" we had been carrying around from house to house.


This is what my fridge looked like on my last week. Where is the food? I had to be creative with meal planning.


I hope my pantry stays this organized always. It's a bit smaller than I would like, so I can't stock up on many "food storage" items here, but I am happy to start fresh.
This was Isaac's way of helping me. He would take out the fridge items, line them up and then laugh. What a cutie.


The first night: sleeping soundly.
Pack 'n play for Izzy...check out his pot belly.

Sleeping, but not so soundly?

First morning; Oct 4th, 2010 (our Fall Break). We are so excited to be here! I am tired with all I have to accomplish this week.
Isaac is feeling right at home.



















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Birthday boy

My sweet boy turned five, and what did he get?

Two teeth pulled, and purple jell-o to help soothe the loss (he also got popcorn with a movie, go figure)
A Chuck E Cheese birthday party 3 days late
Sahuarita Festival party (where a 1000 people came, according to him)
Red Vines to share (no traditional "cupcakes") and a treasure box toy from Kindergarten
A new Spiderman toy and truck from grandma/pipa, with rainbow cupcakes
































Wesley:
Why is everything made in China?
I keep thinking what would Jesus do: share a snack, give gum to April, carry Austin's backpack
prayer: vos estas feliz porque tu chico Jesus se bautizo para ser el ejemplo

Another move...why not?

People who hear that we are moving AGAIN just shake their heads, give out a little chuckle and make obnoxious comments like, "You guys like to move." Um....who in their right mind LIKES to move? Not us. We never have. Never will. One of the only benefits to moving is you get to de-clutter your junk and deep clean. Who likes the never ending taping up of boxes, living out of a suitcase, eating food from your freezer for months (vs. fresh), cleaning out the house you move out of...and usually cleaning the house you are moving into, losing neighbors and paying "start up" fees for utilities? Oh joy!

We have moved a lot. In our eight year of marriage it's been pretty crazy. Whether it was for a new real estate investment, a job transfer, or business adventure...we have made these moves b/c we have been trying to get a little ahead in life, not b/c we wanted to.

I might as well break it down:

1. Cedar City, UT (Aug-Dec 2002), South Gate Apt
2. Nogales, AZ (Dec 2002-May 2003) Molina house
3. Provo, UT (May 2003-June 2003) Small basement apt
4. Provo, UT (June 2003- May 2004) Small basement apt #2
5. Chandler, AZ (May 2004 - Jan 2005) Spring Brook apts
6. Mesa, AZ (Jan 2005-June 2005) Rental
7. Florence, AZ (June 2005-Sept 2005) First real estate investment home, rented it out
8. Surprise, AZ (Sept 2005-March 2005) First Beazer home, sold it
9. Surprise, AZ (March 2005-June 2005) Rental while waiting for Custom to be built
10. Surprise, AZ (June 2005-June 2006) Custom home (A.K.A. "The Termite-infested Money Pit")
11. El Paso, TX (June 2006-Jan 2008) Apts behind Target
12. El Paso, TX (Jan 2008-April 2008) Country Oaks remodeled home, sold it
13. Gaithersburg, MD (April 2008- March 2009) Rental
14. Surprise, AZ (March 2009- October 2009) Custom home, short sold it (over 300K lost)
15. Surprise, AZ (October 2009-October 2010) Rental
16. UPCOMING HOME IN MARLEY PARK, SURPRISE AZ

I have boxed up and unpacked all the boxes, and Jared has loaded and unloaded the moving vans all but two of these times. It is exhausting! We consider ourselves experts at packing in the breakables inside the linens, or how to stack up the boxes in the U-haul. This next time, we have 1/2 of our house already boxed up from our LAST move, as well as have many of the boxes still in the garage. It's pretty sad when you consider not throwing away boxes b/c you might be moving again sooner than you like.

We will be doing this move in two days. No biggie. Get it in, get it out, get it done. At least it is in the low 100's this time of year, unlike a move we made back in 2005 in the dead of AZ summer.

The home we are purchasing came off of a short sale (better titled, "everlasting sale.") With some hiccups, chokes, gasps and stressful waits, the keys are finally in our hands...as of this afternoon. Jared is right now busy swapping out light fixtures, appliances and throwing out the previous owners junk.

The house has a strong foundation, but boy is it a pig stye! It will take some serious elbow grease to get out all of the built in dust, dirt, food, and stains that are throughout the house. Because of the neglect, we are having to replace all of the flooring and re-paint the house. It will be an exciting project...pics soon to be posted.

So, this week will be in demolotion mode, painting, cleaning and oh yea...boxing up, working full time, keeping up with my kids, cleaning the current rental...and moving out. I am tired already!

Incompetent

I am having one of those days...

Not so much a self pity party...

But, definitely not on my "A" game...

I just feel overwhelmed with my job right now. The thought of having to mold, influence, teach, help, be productive and effective.

So much goes into teaching. And yet I feel so underpaid. So unappreciated. So worn out. So frustrated at my own weaknesses and faults.

For example, I am teaching math outside of our curriculum book b/c my students are below level (it's a new book, and they are still trying to catch up). It's dang hard to be finding lesson plans, objectives, activities, assessments and homework ALL on your own! How did people do this without the internet? I have no idea...I am barely making it work WITH the google world.

I want to feel like I am helping my students "master" the different educational goals. Yet, I feel so incompetent in so many areas! I want to be able to allow them to flourish and grow...but, how do you do that when you are constantly reminding kids to stay on task, to not back talk you, to turn in homework (micromanaging), to stay seated, to find more and more work to assign and then grade, to be cheerful and give out "positive" energy for all of those kids, am I walking around the room enough, do my students feel loved and respected???

The thought of work keeps me stressed at night...especially when I feel so inadequate alongside my fellow teachers. This is like my first year ALL over again, in this new realm. What to do? How to do it? Where to go? Where do I find a writing rubric? What are the benchmarks for 5th grade? What do I give out for parent teacher conference work samples? Who needs intervention, or IEP pull outs? Am I reaching all of my students' different levels? Is there professional development this week? Are we going on service field trips? AAAAHHHH!!!

Not to mention we are hoping to move in a few weeks...have yet to pack b/c we don't have a move in date...and I miss Isaac everyday (his feedings, laying him down to take a nap, even changing his diapers), cleaning my home little by little everyday, attending my fun gym classes, going grocery shopping with just one in tow (or even just during the daytime vs. the 4pm-scramble-home-from-school), and having more than just 2 hours to unwind/catch up with laundry and dinner.

My heartbeat is racing. It's already 9pm...bedtime is closing in on me...again. I feel anxious. I feel bloated from too many brownies (as my usual sugar outlet), and my mind is spinning with all the future holds for me.

It is nice hearing the laundry click click in the dryer, such a peaceful sound.
I also have my dishes done, counters cleaned (not cleared), and kitchen floor vacuumed.
I do have three sweet boys dreaming upstairs about Nacho Libre (their movie of choice).
I am grateful for a healthy body and strong will to keep me going at 4:10am, hit the gym, back by 5:45am, out the door with all kiddos by 6:30am. Gotta work out to keep up with the brownies!

Life isn't so bad...just stressful...

infertile

My thoughts:

Started Aunt Flo again. I am feeling so frustrated, sad, discouraged and upset. Why can't Jared and I get pregnant? It's been almost a full YEAR since we began this journey. I feel like everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant, yet I go month after month still waiting for our time. I feel frustrated b/c I feel like this is a righteous desire that we have. It makes me question myself as a mother. Does God see me as an unfit parent? Does he feel like I would not do a good job having 4 kids to raise? Am I only meant to have 3? Yet, I feel so strongly that our family is not done.

At first we were hoping to be in the FBI, and with Jared's 5 month potential "training," it would be hard to have a baby if he were to be gone. Well, when that dream evaporated, it only made sense for me to go ahead and get prego without having that FBI time line. Then, Jared couldn't get work. 10 months of waiting, applying, praying, fasting, blah blah blah...nothing. It only seemed like another reason to wait for a baby; because we didn't have any health insurance.

So, I got hired back on as a teacher with my school...and insurance was then provided. Why o why can we not get prego now??? I feel as though we have had plenty of opportunities for "growth" and "patience" this last year. I am not getting any younger, after having just turned 31. Isaac is now 20 months old...do I really have to have such a large gap in between siblings? I remember wanting to be prego by December of last year, when we went to visit my mom in Argentina. I wanted to surprise her with the "great news." That was such a long time ago...and here I am with an empty womb.

It's such an embarrassing thing to even want to admit. We already have 3 wonderful children. I love them. I want more. I want to share that love. I want to have a large family. Jared feels the same.

The thought crossed our minds that perhaps we will never get prego again. Does that mean we are to look into adoption? I went on the LDS family services website and browsed through some of the profiles. What a hard waiting game for any family. Waiting to be picked by some sweet mother. Trying to "sell" yourself on why YOU are the perfect match for her unborn child. Trying to prove what a perfect life you could provide for the baby. I am not opposed to adoption, but I've never really thought of it as an option.

So...here's to yet another month of playing the waiting game. I bought some ovulation kits this time around and perhaps that will give me a better idea of what to expect. I also scheduled an appt with an OBGYN to get further advice.

Here we go again.

No comments are necessary. I feel like I have heard it all....again and again and again.

8 year anniversary

Reasons why I love Jared (in no particular order, and besides the obvious reasons of being a wonderful priesthood holder, hard working and supportive).

1. Hot body!
2. His big brown eyes
3. All of the ways he gets me to smile; singing, tickling, joking
4. A wonderful role model for my boys
5. Ambitious and smart
6. Good kisser
7. A great chef; chicken spaghetti, bbq, fajitas
8. No matter what, he will always love ME.

I am in charge of anniversary dates, since Jared does Valentine's Day. My options were limited b/c our date landed on a school night. Either we could do an activity or food. I chose to surprise him with a candle light dinner at home with just the two of us.

It was NOT an easy thing to pull off. It seemed like anytime I would start to plan it, Jared was peeking over my back or listening to my conversations. The night before, he actually called my bluff and said, "Are we eating in? Is Jennie going to be cooking for us?" Jennie is a personal chef, and volunteered to make my main dish while I was at school so I wouldn't be super stressed out. I had to throw him off my trail!

So today, our anniversary, I got smart. I had my babysitter text him to tell him she could come over and babysit. That would make him think we were going out. I then went a step beyond. I had a fellow teacher call and "confirm a reservation" for Ruth Chris' steakhouse WHILE I was on the phone with Jared! I had the teacher call him while I was standing right there talking to Jared. I thought that one was pretty smart. Jared played along and acted like it was no big deal that Ruth Chris had called him, and when he clicked back over from the cell phone, he told me that it was a wrong number. LOL

I was a bit nervous trying to get my act together. I pawned the kiddos off, raced to Wal-Mart to pick up candles, salad toppings, fresh italian bread, ice cream, etc. I was searching for a banana liquer to go with my Banana Fosters dessert, which took me extra long to find. It was very uncomfortable looking for alcohol, and then purchasing it was quite the experience as they made me sign for it, etc. I felt like such a sinner!

Jared arrived and when I opened the door in my apron he said, "Is it just us?" He had on a sweet smile and admitted to me that he was happy that we were staying in. I had no reason to be nervous, I was with my best friend. But, I was anxious to have a yummy meal and make it go smoothly.

On the menu:
appetizer- stuffed mozzerella mushrooms, italian bread with balsamic vinegar

main dish- stuffed manicotti (cheese and spinach), italian salad (complete with Kalamata olives, artichoke and fresh parmesean)

dessert- banana fosters (caramelized bananas in brown sugar and cinnamon, brought to a flame with the liquer and served on top of ice cream)

drink- apple juice (Jared doesn't like the sparkling cider)

We ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. I got so bloated and full, made myself sick. But, I kept going back in for more! By the end of the night, we were both so sick to our stomachs, it was to the point of pain.

Jared asked me if we could do this for our 58th anniversary. You bet honey!

Kids arrived around 7:30pm. It was a great night.