I take it all back

I take back yesterdays post of being a Super mom.

Another frazzled day for me!

Why does Austin have to scream and cry throughout the grocery store, wailing that he wants to be put down. When I see those dirty tear streaks down his face, it makes me want to leave him in there longer! It's hard enough to run around with the three in tote, all the time, let alone have to fight whether or not I will be chasing two around the store, vs. one.

My favorite was at Target when both boys started putting on bras and yelling, "boobies!"

Or how about after a long check out at Wal Mart, I decided to "treat" the boys to ice cream, only for them to BOTH complain that there was no chocolate on it, or that it wasn't popcorn. Where's the appreciation? What about those starving children in Africa? Would they complain? Hardly!

I even left Wesley on the side of the Highway 303 today when I asked him if he wanted to get out and walk home. He said, "yes" with a smile, opened the door himself, closed it, and proceeded to walk alone. Grrr! That wasn't supposed to happen. I wanted to be in the middle of the desert so I could at least drive off a few feet ahead of him and give him a little scare. But, nope, I just had to ask him to get back into the car, buckle up, and let's be on our way.

It's so hard for me to feel so depleted ALL the time, so chlostrophobic and impatient. I want to enjoy my boys with more smiles, hugs, kisses and laughter. But, it's so hard to do when I feel so drained. I feel like they don't listen to me, and that my discipline just goes out the door. If Austin asks me, "que?" one more time (he usually does this 2-5x's per question. I even had his ears checked b/c I thought maybe there was blockage), I think I may just stop talking to him all together. You can only repeat yourself so many times until you give up.

I keep begging Isaac to not turn into a nasty three year old. Please stay adorable and loving!

Like I have posted before, everyday is a new ATTITUDE adjustment for me. But, come 4-7pm, I automatically have been turning into Mean Mom. I have good days and bad days. This just happens to be a bad one. How much longer can I do this? I know Jared wishes he were here to help. I need some relief. I need my boys to obey. I am trying my best, and I feel like it's not good enough.

I just want a hug. Good thing I have a sweet chunky baby to hold onto.

Superwoman

Today was a day where I feel like I was a superwoman with super human powers.

Last night: Up with all three boys

Austin: nightmares, climbed into bed, etc. (up by 5:55am)
Wesley: peed the bed after drinking too much water after t-ball practice
Isaac: I think he got a snack around 2am? I can't remember! But, he did "sleep" (or stay in his crib) from 7pm-5am.
Jared: up the night before helping him pack and get out the door by 4am.

So...my nights rest averaged around 4 hours. This is also all with an upset stomach. I am not sure what bug I have, but it makes me super nauseous. I hope it goes away soon. I was too busy today to worry too much about it, but now that I am sitting here in peace...churn churn.

Today I turned into a daycare. I watched 8 kids, all under the age of 5 from 6:30am-5pm. It actually was a great day! I was determined to have my kids actually "play" with the kids vs. movies or playing video games. So, that meant that I had to dive into the fun as well.

Activities: Twister, forts, duck duck goose, dancing, puzzles, music making and hide 'n seek.

The trickiest part was doing a lunch scene with no high chair for the 1 and 2 year olds. We also did some illegal driving to preschool today. Don't tell the cops! I had Wesley in the front seat (he doesn't weigh enough), the little toddlers in huge booster seats, and double buckling in the backseat. 9 of us in an 8 passenger car. I am so glad this is not a daily thing.

Somehow, with an upset tummy and only 4 hours of sleep, I was still able to run the household and enjoy my Biggest Loser Season finale:).

Pay it forward for all the angels that have watched my kiddos before.

Slurp

I am in the process of "slurping" (quite the adjective) my blog into a book format. It has been very entertaining and fulfilling going through the last 2 years of blogging. I am adding more pictures, editing a few posts that I think are boring, and getting the format to flow just right. So far I have 215+ pages to edit, and I am on page 35. This will take me a few weeks, but I can' wait for the finished result. It's almost like my own little genealogy work (or at least that is what I tell myself so I don't feel so guilty about doing my ancestry work). Now that I know that I will be eventually printing out all of these posts, I am going to make them extra detailed (or random!).

Jared left today at 4am. He was home this weekend for 24 hours. He has a conference in San Diego, so on his "day off," he is actually working still. I feel bad for all of us. He would like to be able to sit and relax with us here at home. And we would like to enjoy his company (and extra help). Everyday is an attitude adjustment for me as I tackle my three little monkeys alone. Today has been good, considering that we just worked on Wesley's alphabet, I squeezed in a morning scripture study over breakfast, worked out, the boys helped unload the dishwasher, Austin ate all of his breakfast and lunch, I haven't eaten any sweets yet (I ate a healthy lunch of a salad), and Isaac had his second bath of the day b/c he had a HUGE blow out up to his ears (it's hard to finagle him out of his onesie without getting the poop smeared all over me!). Then again, it is Monday. By Friday, I am sure I will be one frazzled woman and won't be anywhere near motivated to do these same things.

Mother's Day was a quick one. Highlights for the day:
Heart shaped pancake with powdered sugar. Wesley was the genius behind this creation.
Jared doing dishes after lunch.
Afternoon nap (we all took one!)
Eating a meal together (beef stroganoff, a favorite. Even if I did cook it, I didn't mind b/c Jared stayed busy with the boys. I also enjoyed cleaning up while they wrestled).
Having my new SUV scrubbed clean.
Pitching baseballs to the boys at night, when it cooled off to a warm 95 degrees.
Letting Jared bathe and tuck the boys in (they went to bed at 10:30pm, taking advantage of time with Papa and his bedtime stories).
Packing up Jared's backpack with clean undies and socks.

You know you are a mother when:

1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
2. You consider it a major triumph if you shower by noon.
3. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
4. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
5. You can talk on the phone, pack a lunch & feed the baby all at once.
6. You find Goldfish crackers in the glove box of your car.
7. You have kept your favorite babysitter a secret from other mothers in the ward.
8. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
9. You can recite Goodnight Moon and Green Eggs and Ham by heart.
10. You have caught spit-up in your hand.
11. You consider parenting to be the best job in the world.

Here is a picture of baby chunky Isaac. This is his typical, "I am starving and want to eat!" face on his way home from church.

This week will be my sister's graduation from ASU with her Master's degree in Social Work. My dad and brother Gavin will be visiting and staying with us for her ceremony. We then will make the LONG drive to Utah for my mother's wedding. She leaves the very next day to live in Argentina and start up her new life as a Mrs. Oscar Abreo.

I am also officially hired back on at Mountain Side Fitness! Let the aerobics/ kid classes begin:)

Scottsdale Night 8K Run:

I had to walk most of it due to a sprained knee. It was great fun to get out on a date together:) Jared did a great job running the entire time, considering that he doesn't usually run at all. It's okay honey that you left me behind in the dust. I stayed back with my hot mama's and chatted.

Not sure what we will do the rest of day. It's only 1:30pm and 101 degrees.

Binkie vs. Thumb

Here are some of our latest "Jared is home, let's do something!" outings. His two days fly by as we try to cram in as many things as possible. My Honey-Do list is endless, the boys are giddy as they wrestle, we love to eat our meals together, and before I know it...it's back to the airport we go to say good-bye.

"Camping" in our backyard. It is great to be in flip flops and have Isaac napping inside while we are out by the fire. Couldn't do that in the woods!

We all loved the s'mores....gooeylicious.
Mama's turn for roasting.
Cute family shot...Austin's face is great as he is about to take a bite of his hot dog.
Welcome to AZ! This tumbleweed rolled up into our front yard. It was huge!!!

We have a great little pit and lots of dirt for a backyard!
Too bad that our boys acted up shortly after taking this picture. After an hour of giggles and not sleeping, we had to take them out of the tent and back into their beds. At that point, they continued to jump on their beds at 10:30pm! Needless to say, I am glad papa was around for the discipline this time around. So much for our "camping" experience with our boys. Why is camping so much "fun" anyway??? Getting all packed up, loaded up, the food, the gear, the bugs, the dirt, the late nights....

Going for a "hike" in the White Tank Mountains. It was 90+ degrees by 9am, so we didn't get too far. The boys loved gearing up with sunglasses and water bottles.
I value being "together" as a family these days.
It was so hot! Austin's red face and sweaty hair says it all.
I love having little boys!
Isaac's first taste of water...even he was a bit dehydrated.


We did our best to cover up Isaac. They don't make hats small enough for our chunk.

My boys enjoyed a "mummy bath" as they soaked in my jetted tub. Austin's eyes were covered in bubbles with his long lashes...he reminded me of Santa Claus.


Alright....

I have a decision to make...

Isaac did great for sleeping through the night for about 2 nights (after three days/nights of crying it out). But, now the decision of binkie vs. thumb has to be made. He has found his fat finger and if I don't continue on with the binkie, his buddy will be his best friend no doubt.

Pros of binkie: you can take it away! Cons: have to constantly provide it during the night

Pros of thumb: self soothing, sleep at night better Cons: can't take it away, germsDo his eyes look hazel or brown?

I am leaning towards the binkie...I just feel like this last week of "crying it out" is going for nothing if I am giving it back to him! I can't stand to hear him cry it out and get all hoarse from screaming.

What is Isaac doing right now? Oh, he is sucking on his binkie...so, that pretty much says it all. Jared just took the boys fishing up the street by a canal, they caught two fish (and put them back). I love their "boy time" and wish that it happened more often. I enjoyed an hour to myself to bake some bread, blog, cook dinner, do laundry and enjoy some silence:) Let the madness begin all over again as Jared leaves us tomorrow.

Hot Mama Club

If you take:

11 kids
1 babysitter
25,000 runners
Tempe, AZ
4.2 miles
4:30am wake up call
three strollers
Pink tank tops that say, "Hot Mama Club"

What do you get?

The Pat Tilman Race! This race is in behalf of an ASU and later AZ Cardinals football players who enlisted in the armed forces, to later be killed. It's an annual race that joins thousands of people to run, sweat and unite in memory of his legacy.

What did it mean to me? It was a lot of FUN! Granted it would've been better had Jared come along for the ride, but b/c I have good friends (and thanks to Dustin, the lone babysitter while the rest of ran), I was able to get out and not feel too overwhelmed with three in tote.

It took us getting up and out the door by 5am, to get to Tempe, AZ and registered for the race. Stress was a little high as we were trying to figure out where to go, where to park, how long could Isaac go without nursing, did we have enough treats and movies for the kids, how do we put on our numbers, and which corral to step into as we started up.

It was a low key race, but the emotions were high as we dogded lots of strollers, walkers, wheelchairs and runners pounding the pavement.

This was my first race and will not be my last. I am not a runner by any means, and 4.2 miles is an easy task for anybody...but, the thrill was to be alongside friends, packed in tight like sardines, and to have people shout out as we passed by, "go! Hot Mama Club!"

The kids did great, watching a movie in a parked car and eating treats as we ran. They even were able to participate in a "kids run" afterwards. There were so many people that you really had to keep an eye on your kids. I felt like I was running in the Battle of the Bulls in Spain.

We are signed up for one more last hoo-rah before Arianne and Bret leave us and move to TX. Scottsdale is doing a "night 5k" race, and we are all going to go do that for a double date. Now is the season in AZ to run, before the heat comes! Sniff sniff...I am so sad to see them leave us.

frazzled day

Been a rough day. When will Jared come home? Oh yeah, 3 more days...

Trying to keep my patience with my toddler and preschooler. I am finding relief in my yummy mini-cadbury eggs...the entire bag to be exact.

Somehow I made it the entire day without letting my boys give into a movie (seriously, is it worth the "my kids are not being creative" guilt that you feel when you let them watch a movie vs. just letting my conscience go and have a few stress-free hours to myself). So, they are now watching a 30 min. flick before the dreaded bedtime routine starts.

It would be so nice to have papa home right now to give them some entertainment, especially some wrestling time. They both have too much energy and mama has no more! (They look so skinny here! I promise that I do feed them...recently they have been more into "ejercicios" and flexing their "musculos.")

Maybe it was the fight over who could wear the Spiderman costume, maybe my limits are still being stretched by last nights events of more cold baths, not obeying my requests to stop talking and go to bed,etc. Maybe it was Wesley taking out all of my living room toss pillows out of their cases and throwing them around.

Maybe I am stressed out from the non stop whining that Austin does over anything Wesley will or will not do. Is it worth it Austin to cry over not being able to have a blue cup? It is worth it Wesley to get your mom frustrated when you throw Austin's shirt up into the ceiling fan? It is worth it Austin to push your mama's buttons when you refuse to eat your dinner...and an hour later I end up spoon feeding you anyway?

I do find relief in the fact that I did get my tile scrubbed clean today. Gotta get some of this built up tension out! And poor Isaac doesn't know what is coming tonight...no more feedings or binkie trips for me. I am too pooped to continue this madness. He is going to have to cry it out. I will be in the far end of the home, with earplugs and a prayer in my heart as my sweet tank cries his little heart out. Makes me sad just to think about it.

The best part of the day was when Wesley did come over and give me a hug and kiss. That made me just stop, count my blessings that I do get to raise these little monkeys and that these hugs and kisses won't last forever (nor will the spit wads that they threw into each other's hair today).

I feel so frazzled so often. I need to continue to take things day by day and not feel too overwhelmed by this large undertaking that I am doing. My heart goes out to single parents everywhere.

Let the madness continue...or at least until 7pm when it's "bedtime." (Although that schedule keeps sliding back to 8pm by the time my boys finally do fall asleep. What will it take for them to someday enjoy sleeping? Not getting up at 6am everyday???).

My tummy now hurts from all those cadbury eggs...darn it!

ps...we sold our car on Craigslist. We posted it on Saturday, had it sold by Monday. We are now buying another SUV on Ebay. Never even driven it, but it's red! Should arrive this next week. Until then, the boys and I are scrunched into a rental; a tiny mini silver bullet, as I call it. Let the fun times begin as we squeeze all into it!

My favorite part was picking it up at the rental place, nursing in the bright AZ sun (without tinted windows) in the car as people looked inside at us (since we are so far down to the ground). My boys are so close together that Wes and Austin are practically sitting on top of Isaac...which leads to more fighting and crying as Isaac gets the brunt of their "playing around" (sticking their fingers in his mouth, patting his head, poking ears, etc). I can't tell you how often I tell them to cross their arms and don't touch the baby!

Baby is crying....off I go to the rescue!

Growing up

So sad.

Isaac was in his 3-6 month clothing for two weeks.

He is now into 6-9 month clothing, at only 3 months old, a solid 15 lbs.

It seems like I washed his clothing, hung them up...only for them to go immediately back into the tub of storage. He wore them all just one time. So sad. He is growing up too quickly.

I am now putting his binkie in at night vs feeding b/c he is a tank! He is not a big fan of it, nor am I with my zombie-like walking at 3, 4, or 5 am.

His brothers continue to love on him like he is a toy and love to fight over holding him. Gone are the days when he would fall asleep on my chest, or cuddle up with me in the middle of the night. Nowadays he is all about standing up, throwing his head back, sucking on his fists and watching ceiling fans.His hair is slowly growing in and he can actually sit up for a bit in his bumbo now. He also is sqwaking like a bird when he is alone.

So cute.

But still so sad to see him growing up too quickly.